Almost a decade ago, Peter S. Silin wrote Nursing Homes: The Family's Journey to provide family members with practical advice and emotional support. This successor volume incorporates the new and sometimes baffling world of assisted living. Nursing Homes and Assisted Living focuses on the psychological, emotional, and practical aspects of helping family members and seniors make a difficult transition.Silin approaches his subject with compassion and sensitivity, guiding readers through the process of finding the best possible care. He describes how nursing homes and assisted living facilities work and outlines the selection process; he explains how to prepare for the day a relative moves into a facility and suggests ways to help the resident settle in; he focuses on the family member's role in solving problems, obtaining goodquality care, and visiting. He also helps caregivers cope with difficult decisions, deal with emotional issues such as guilt and grief, and celebrates the tender, rewarding aspects of being a caregiver. The book includes vignettes from reallife caregivers narrating their experiences. This book provides caregivers, family members, and seniors with the information they need to effect successful transitions. It is also a valuable tool for social workers, nurses, and family therapists.An important book about the often difficult and painful process that begins long before a loved family member enters a nursing home... A thorough, excellent and humane book that helps families navigate a difficult, traumatic life change in the most successful way possible.'' -- Inside GCM''Among the most valuable chapters in this book is one titled ''Making a Home Better,'' which includes wonderful advice on how a loved one can influence what goes on inside a nursing home. His inclusion of reallife stories from the families he's encountered over 20 years anchors the book compassionately.'' -- Los Angeles Times''This is both a very humanistic book and a very practical one... written with the insight of a sociologist and geriatric care manager, someone who sees the human side of the equation first.'' -- ElderCare Online
PrefaceAcknowledgmentsPart I: Caring Decisions1. When Someone You Love Goes into CareBecoming a CaregiverBecoming ""the Family Member"" of Someone in CareLearning the Role of ""the Family Member""Types and Levels of CareOther ConsiderationsAlastair2. Deciding about CareHow to Talk about CareChoosing the Right TimeStress and BurnoutWhen a Parent Chooses to Live at RiskMaking the DecisionYour Legal Right to Make Decisions for Your Relative: A WarningAdvance Directives and Medical DecisionsLydia Jean3. Family Decision MakingFamily Relationships and Care DecisionsHow to Make Family DecisionsFamily MeetingsKeep Your Relative InvolvedMary4. Guilt, Loss, and GriefWhat Is Guilt?Conflicts That Give Rise to GuiltFamilies and GuiltAdult ChildrenGuilt, Culture, and Society TodayWhen Guilt Has Other Purposes in Your LifeNot All Relationships Were IdealGuilt and DementiaDealing with GuiltLetting GoGrief and LossHandling GriefMarjoriePart II: The Residence5. About Nursing Homes and Assisted Living FacilitiesKeeping Your Relative at HomeWhere to Start Finding a Nursing Home or Assisted Living FacilityApplying for Seniors HousingAbout Good Care and Good CaringModels of CareOn AbuseSpecialized Dementia Care UnitsCostsNursing Homes and Legal ResponsibilityMildred6. Viewing the ResidenceStaffingProgrammingPoliciesDiningPhysical PlantSurveys and AccreditationJohn and Joyce7. Staff Roles: Who Does What?ReceptionistAdministratorPersonal Care: Nurse'sAidesNursesDietitian and Food Services StaffSocial WorkerRecreation TherapistsRehabilitation StaffHousekeepers / Building MaintenanceStaffPharmacistPhysiciansOther Staff MembersMabel8. Nursing Home and Assisted Living SystemsHow the System WorksA Typical DayCyrusPart III: Moving in and Settling In9. Preparations for Moving DayHow to Prepare Your RelativeGet to Know the Home in AdvanceEquipmentValuablesClothing and LaundryPlan Ahead for Moving DayPlan to Take Care of YourselfBetty10. Moving DayStay CalmIf Your Relative Refuses to GoWalking through the DoorWhen You First ArriveJoan11. Settling InResident AdjustmentChanges and Differences in BehaviorDementia and BehaviorSex and Relationships in Nursing Homes and Assisted LivingOn Staying HealthyYour Emotional AdjustmentThe Gap in Your LifePhases of AdjustmentAcceptanceNew RelationshipsBillPart IV: Being the Family Member of Someone in Care12. Care and Care PlanningBasic Standards of CareHow Care Is OrganizedCare ConferencesChartsMedication and Care PlanningMedication and Pain ControlRestraintsToileting and IncontinenceFallsPressure SoresDepressionAlcohol, Drugs, and Other AddictionsRoommatesLouise13. Communication and Problem SolvingWorking the SystemCommunicationGaps in the SystemWhen Things Go MissingYour RoleMaking ComplaintsThrowing BouquetsAlvin (Part 1)14. VisitingHow Often to VisitVisiting Someone Who Has DementiaGoing Out and Going HomeEnding a VisitCompanionsA Few More Words about SexJane15. Out-of-Town CaregiversProfessional Geriatric Care ManagersLloyd16. Making a Home BetterInclude the Resident in the ChangeIndividual ActionsWorking with Other FamiliesWorking with the SystemWorking with GovernmentAnn17. Difficult Decisions at the End of LifeLiving and DyingTalking about DeathFacing Feelings about Dying and DeathDecisions about Dying and DeathHospice and Palliative CareYounger People and DeathWhat Occurs during the Dying ProcessAfter DeathSaying Good-bye to the HomeDonaldAlvin (Part 2)Appendix 1: Accessing Care in CanadaAppendix 2: QuestionnairesAppendixSome Common Medical AbbreviationsResourcesIndex
""[Silin] perfectly captures the enduring sense of loss, the eventual relief (to a small degree) and all the other intense emotions in between, experienced by everyone in the family... Silin's information is important to have on hand.""
