"Did I sound stupid?" "Should I have sent that email?" "How do I look?" Many of us spend a lot of time feeling self-conscious and comparing ourselves to others. Why do we judge ourselves so relentlessly? Why do we strive so hard to be special or successful, or to avoid feeling rejected? When psychologist and mindfulness expert Dr. Ronald Siegel realized that he, as well as most of his clients, was caught in a cycle of endless self-evaluation, he decided to do something about it. In this engaging, empowering guide, he sheds light on this very human habit--and explains how to break it. Through illuminating exercises drawn from both contemporary science and ancient traditions, along with moving, often funny stories, Dr. Siegel invites readers to stop obsessing so much about how they measure up. Instead, by accepting the extraordinary gift of being ordinary, we can build stronger connections with others, get more joy out of life, and taste the wonderful freedom of everything no longer being all about us.
Ronald D. Siegel, PsyD, is Assistant Professor of Psychology, part time, at Harvard Medical School, where he has taught since the early 1980s. He is a longtime student of mindfulness meditation and is a faculty and board member at the Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy. Dr. Siegel teaches internationally about the application of mindfulness practices in psychotherapy and other fields, and maintains a private practice in Lincoln, Massachusetts. His books include The Extraordinary Gift of Being Ordinary and The Mindfulness Solution, for general readers, as well as several acclaimed works for professionals.
I. The Self-Evaluation Trap
1. Are We Doomed?
2. It's Darwin's Fault
II. The Essential Toolkit
3. The Liberating Power of Mindfulness
4. Discovering Who We Really Are
III. Catching Ourselves in the Act
5. The Failure of Success
6. Resisting Selfie-Esteem
7. Conspicuous Consumption and Other Status Signals
8. Treating Our Self-Esteem Addiction
IV. Breaking Free: Finding Trustworthy Paths to Happiness
9. Make a Connection, Not an Impression
10. The Power of Compassion
11. You Have to Feel It to Heal It
12. Separating the Doer from the Deed
13. You're Not That Special--and Other Good News
14. Beyond I, Me, Mine
Notes
Index
List of Audio Tracks
Audio Downloads:
What Matters to Me? (07:10)
Riding the Self-Evaluation Roller Coaster (05:10)
Mindfulness of Breath (20:45)
Identifying Emotions in the Body (06:40)
The Joys of Self-Transcendence (04:10)
Urge Surfing (05:00)
Embracing a Self-Esteem Injury (04:10)
Loving-Kindness Practice (15:35)
R.A.I.N. for Self-Esteem Injuries (06:15 )
It All Changes (18:25)
The Future of Our Social Self (08:20)
