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Gay Man's Guide to Open and Monogamous Marriage

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Legal gay marriage is still a relatively new phenomenon. As gay men who are now able to get married, we find ourselves in a bit of a quandary: for many male couples, sex is a lot more important for us than it is for heterosexuals. Two married men often have a stronger desire for sex - wanting more of it and with a wider variety of partners - than married opposite-sex couples. How does this work within the structure of a monogamous marriage? Is an open relationship a better structure for gay marriage? Assuming that gay marriages will emulate heterosexual marriages is neither a valid nor a helpful assumption. But, as gay men, where does that leave us? There are currently no "rule books" for how a marriage between two men could or should work. While there are lots of books about how to plan your gay wedding, there are virtually none that address what to do after the honeymoon is over (literally and figuratively). This book fills that void. It offers married gay couples (and gay men considering marriage) an easy-to-follow, practical framework that they can use to help create, adjust and structure their marriages. Using helpful examples and first-hand quotes throughout, Openly-gay psychotherapist Michael Dale Kimmel offers a roadmap for gay men who want to be married but have questions and concerns about monogamy and monotony.
Introduction Section 1: Unique Challenges for Gay Marriages 1: Designing your Marriage 2: Conflict and Competition 3: Redefining Gender-based Roles 4: Soul Mates, Family and Community Support Section 2: Exploring Open Marriage 5: Sexual Freedom and Expression 6 : Negotiating Jealousy and Insecurity 7: Creating and Adjusting to an Open Marriage 8: Balancing Sexual Expression with Emotional Connection Section 3: Exploring Monogamy 9: Sex, Monogamy and "The Three-Year Itch" 10: Keeping Monogamy Lively: Balancing Emotional Stability with Spontaneity 11: The Art of Not Merging/How Not to Lose Yourself Conclusion/Summary
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